Dear Socialist,
For the last year or so I’ve been raising bunnies. Nothing warms my heart more than watching them hop about for hours in the clover. Every morning Snowball plays tag with Buttercup while Mr. Cookie Pants hides behind the daffodils. I can’t even begin to describe how soft their fur is.
Anyway, I have some ’special’ carrots for them this weekend. I heard the males are good for stew and the females are perfect for a fur coat.
Is this true or just an old wives’ tale?
Regards,
Perplexed in Pittsburgh
Dear Perplexed,
The false dichotomy you express betrays your lack of any true revolutionary consciousness. To assume first, that rabbits exist for your consumption and adornment is to wear your brainwashed conviction for all to see. Who but the bourgeoisie could honestly credit such a detestable idea? Worse, to assume second that the gender of said rabbits renders one more suitable to your depraved consumption and the other to your ornamentation is evidence that you cannot grasp the singularity of being that unites all in the struggle against the opressor.
Frankly, Perplexed, get your head on straight or I’ll arm your bunnies and put you up against the wall, fascist!
Revolution is in the heart, not off the shoulder, sister,
A socialist
4 responses so far ↓
BR // May 10, 2007 at 10:03 pm |
Dear AAS,
This is Clover, yessir, aforementioned doomed as both m’ears are long, cause, dammit, this weekend is almost here.
Now, granted, I am one smart rabbit, but there is only so much a bro can do to rise up and get some proper right ass vengeance on his oppressor (and if female, is that oprressise?). Anyhoo, I know I am cute and furry, and that’s all mighty fine, but, shit, 48 hours gonna be here damn fast.
What’s a brothuh to do?
Regards,
Br’er (in all true & original nature of the word) Rabbit
Elmer Fudd // May 16, 2007 at 6:50 am |
As a recovered rabbit killer myself, I would strongly (with utmost respect, of course) encourage that AAS stay as far away from Perplexed in Pittsburgh as is geographically possible. Any person who presents themselves as gentle and compassionate in one breath and in the very next foreshadows the slaughter of vulnerable creatures—the remains of which will be used in a self-serving effort to feed a bottomless belly and clothe flesh that shall never know warmth—is offering transparent insight into an ominous future for the next victim. Forget not the revolution and keep your distance, Mr. Socialist!
United in solidarity,
E.Fudd
A Reminder // June 14, 2007 at 4:21 pm |
Why you should stay away from Perplexed:
“A monster might let you know she doesn’t care and leave you alone, uncared about, until you finally stop hurting. You might begin to see the light, finally, and when you do, a monster might come and slake her thirst in Escondido. She might tell you she’s not a monster and you might believe her because you too thirst. But when she’s done, she’ll have drank your living essence and left you nothing but false hope. That’s the sort of thing a monster can do without remorse.”
Tony Phillips // June 14, 2007 at 4:26 pm |
Thank you, Perplexed.